41 Days to 41

Last year I decided to give myself a break with 40 days to 40. I needed to hit a pause button on life. I’d been working on my dream for almost a decade; plugging away each night decoding a message only I could hear. Sounds silly, I know, but when I sat down in front of my computer the words started pouring from me. Each night I became submerged in a field of energy I never knew existed. It was a dream-like space created from a universal messenger searching for the host to carry out the vision. And, well… I did it!

I’m here advocating for the healthcare world to acknowledge our energetic body and understand how invisible wounds manifest into physical problems. We aren’t going to heal cancer by antagonizing and fighting it. We are going to heal it by uncovering the trapped emotions that are invading our DNA. Chronic pain isn’t just something you have to live with; it’s something you need to work through. I’m trying to bring a whole new energy to physiotherapy with Centripetal Force Studio and my non-profit, Empowered Health Foundation, is, in tandem, introducing a new healthcare journey of the soul, from childhood to the end of life.

Even though I love what I do, it still took a toll on my life, and it all came to a head when I visited my healthcare practitioner. As I settled myself in the room my acupuncturist looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Gina, you are exhausted.”

Her conviction jolted me, pushing me to do something about my exhaustion level before my health started to take a plunge. Un-scheduling myself from life was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made—a true gift. The anxiety that had been building melted away so I could understand myself a little bit more. By the time I blew out those 40 candles last year, I had learned so much.

Fast-forward a year, now I see how walking away from the studio allowed so much growth in my life and in others. Professionally, my teammates were able to really hone in on their own personal skills and sharpen the tools that they’d been given in order to make them even better Healers. Personally, my friendships also deepened. I learned how to put myself first and not feel guilty about it. My workouts and taking the time to eat balanced started to hit the top of my list. I set healthy boundaries for myself so I could give the most to my core family with enough energy to serve my purpose. I understood that my children need me in these vital years of childhood development. I can’t be so busy and overwhelmed that my kids begin to believe that I’m inaccessible, both emotionally and physically. I want to set up these formative years with open communication so we are ready for teen-hood. I definitely can’t do that if I’m overworked and irritable.

This week marks 41 days to my 41st birthday, and I began to lose myself the last few months; overbooking clients, friend lunches, community gatherings, play dates, etc. I felt myself creeping into my “Sure, no problem” attitude. I’d find myself looking at my schedule the night before and could feel the panic welling up inside me, leaving me drained and irritable before the day even began. As this milestone rolled around I thought to myself, “How can I get back on track to me? What can I do for 41 days that will re-center me for the entire year? I wanted something that could make life more interesting through this next decade, and this year my choice is Kundalini yoga. It’s the practice of bridging the finite and the infinite, helping one connect with their soul. It’s something that I’ve become very interested in and that I’d like to spend more time developing.

I had my first meeting with my instructor last week. She and I sat on the floor cross-legged directly across from each other. The room was tranquil, the beautiful music of mystic voices energetically moved me, and the love Priya’s heart possessed was captivating.

I wanted that. I felt the love she had for me, as another human being, by the softness of her face. She looked into my eyes with her warm smile and said, “You have arrived.” Tears began to fall from the corners of my eyes, and I matched her smile and said, “Yes!” as my throat quivered. I was delighted to meet her; I felt as though I’d finally made it. I told her that I felt like I had been running along this marathon of life trying to open myself up and connect to whom I am and what my purpose is. I eventually found it, harnessed it, and now she happened to be the last messenger in my path as I made my way closer to my vision.

“If you’re going to take on the life of a Healer, and this vision, you must take care of your energy,” she said. And she was right. For the past year I had been reluctant to get back into work and begin a full schedule, fearing the drainage it had once produced. Priya taught me the breath of fire. I had learned the exercise before, but she taught me how to make it a practice and tool to protect my auric field and to keep me healthy. She made it feel sacred, not just cool and trendy.

We are all Healers in some right, healing ourselves as much as our interconnectedness with others. Do you need to breathe? I remember hearing Andrew Weil, a holistic health guru, say that breathing could cure anything, and I believe that whole-heartedly. The uncertainties of life make us hold our breath and doubt our existence. I know you have a reason to be here because I do too and for the next 41 days I am going to breathe empowered strength into my gut in order to help me carry out this mission that I’ve been called to do.