My Personal Surrender

As I write this it is exactly four months since I decided to slow down my life. It was the perfect time to start reading The Surrender Experiment by Michael A. Singer. It’s his personal story about the desire to stop his incessant brain chatter by beginning a disciplined meditation practice. His mission was to inwardly surrender his resistance and let the flow of life be in charge. As that thought permeated, he formed his ultimate experiment; “The rules were very simple: If life brought events in front of me, I would treat them as if they came to take me beyond myself. If my personal self complained, I would use each opportunity to simply let go and surrender to what life was presenting to me.” It’s a powerful way of being and I see myself craving this stillness as I step into the next phase of life.

I’ve crossed most things off of my to-do list. The feeling is incredible. I’m consciously stopping the urge to fill my days and lists back up. I’m calling my friends and reconnecting while noticing more joy in the simple things like walking my kids to school each morning and making their lunches. These tasks seemed elementary in my mind since I busted my butt in graduate school, but I’m learning that sandwiches taste a lot better when my peaceful mommy archetype kicks in.

My hardworking husband is happier seeing me less stressed. He fell in love with me for my ambitious, self-made qualities, but the awakening of the loving servant in me is something new and attractive. It feels good to please others when I have taken the time to love the process first. Even my plants are happy! I’ve found an inner peace in watering them each week to keep them vibrant and alive instead of killing them all the time. Who knew? Most importantly, I created a new personal delight moving my physical body and re-establishing a connection with it that I haven’t felt since having my babies. I truly feel empowered.

Here’s the super interesting part. Before May 20th, I was on a mission with a new vision in healthcare and how we’re able to heal as human beings. There was always a reason why I was on my phone answering a text or an email and a consistent need to be on the computer working on a document for my brand, sorting my thoughts for PROJECT Braincore, talking to my trademark attorney, or meeting with a potential investor for Empowered Health Foundation. Whatever it was, busy was my way and I fit my personal life in between the cracks. I rarely asked myself what I wanted. Now, when I get cranky I take a nap. If I need alone time, I water my plants or take my puppy for a walk, but lately there’s been something new creeping into my consciousness…unnecessary drama!

Norman Cousins was known as the father of laughter therapy writing several books on health and healing, my favorite, Anatomy of An Illness. He did research on the biochemistry of human emotions, which he long believed were the key to human beings’ success in fighting illness. One emotion that he believed that caused stressed leading to illness was boredom! In my days of unwinding my mind, body and soul I came to a state of stillness. Some may interpret that as boredom. Lately I’ve found myself uselessly staring at my phone unlike I used to with intent and purpose. I’m beginning to create drama in my mind and negative self-talk about others and myself. I see myself looking into things way deeper than needed creating chaos and stress. And if I watched reality TV, goodness, I think this feeling would magnify and my confidence and self worth would plummet. The lesson being is ninety-nine percent of our thoughts are a waste of time; they only freak us out. I’ve seen it in my own personal surrender experiment.

As for now, I look forward to the journey of continual relinquishment to the flow of life while staying conscious of the beautiful simplicity of peace. It’s really that easy.



  1. Gina says:

    I can relate to this and thankful I read your blog. I too have brain clatter-clutter and it’s hard to stop it but I am hopeful after reading this. Peace to you and simple pleasures.