Back in early 2008 I was pregnant with my son Julian as I attended a Sacred Contracts course with Energy Medicine pioneer, Caroline Myss. Our course was held at a beautiful retreat center nestled in trees outside Austin, Texas. Caroline invited a Yaqui Indian and Traditional Native Healer to teach us about emotional and spiritual trauma. Yaqui Indians are traditionally from Mexico- Chihuahua and Durango areas. I find no coincidence at all this is where both my grandmother and grandfather were born. I was enthralled by his shamanic teachings and the mystery of life.
The friends I made in the course were older than me at the time, all with grown children. I was pregnant with my first baby! These women, including myself were all interested in becoming more conscious and to be better mothers. I was deeply and secretly frightened to become a parent, but their presence made me feel comfortable in becoming a parent.
One afternoon our group of women had lunch with the Shaman. He asked if he could do a Native American blessing for my baby boy. I was jazzed. The ladies were excited too! We finished up our lunch and headed down into the woods. The Shaman led us into an area far enough away from the retreat where you could palpably feel the silence amongst the beautiful trees.
The Shaman had the five mothers encircle me and my baby boy as he stood just outside of us. I peered into each one of their eyes and their smiles filled me with joy and confidence. My eyes welled up with tears as I heard the Shaman raise his voice into soulful calling on the Four Directions. The deep spiritual sound of his voice settled my own soul in my body easing some of my fears of becoming a mother. The love emanating from the hearts of the maternal circle surrounding me ignited a tender nurturing feeling in my body. I felt more connected to my baby.
Afterward, I was genuinely grateful for this touching experience and expressed my love with hugs to each and every mother. I walked with the Shaman back up to the retreat center.
“You know, this baby is going to change many, many lives,” he said as he handed me a small pearlized white egg-shaped crystal. I remember this like a token of his ancient wisdom imbedded in me and my baby. Something we were being called to pass on and carry it forward in time to come.
My baby just turned 13 years old and I will tell you, he’s the best male relationship I’ve ever had in my life. His sweet, joyful and sensitive nature has taught me how to soften my heart and love hard at the same time. We have a song and dance we play. He knows what I am thinking and I know what he is feeling. This innate intuitive chord runs deep where he and I know how much to love and how much to push to grow, oftentimes disguised with heavy emotions.
When my son was a baby I signed up for the monthly newsletter from www.babycenter.com – if the baby was supposed to be crawling that month, my baby did! If it was time for potty-training, he was ready! If it was scared of spiders month, he was! And what he’s taught me most is that even at a ripe 13 years old he’s still such a young boy. He needs hugs, hates homework and just wants to catch a football or shoot a basketball.
The last five years he’s brought to my attention what I call cry-talk. This is when my son is trying to tell me something serious that makes his eyes well up with tears or his voice shakes. I learned to hold the space for his emotion and delicately pull it out of him. It’s taken a lot of patience—creating that silent pause in myself to allow him to grow has been crucial for his emotional intelligence. Cry-talk happened about a hundred times from age 8/9- present. Each year the quiver in the vocal cords is finding its stillness and the tone is finding its strength with less and less water in the eyes. It’s been a challenge creating space for my husband to teach him how to see and hold space for his son too. My son has taught me how to help a young boy (or girl, but I typically work with boys) connect to his emotional center and create a solid foundation of emotional intelligence to evolve the self.
I’ve experienced the value of becoming a heart-centered mother and father who is accepting and open to the softer, feminine side of his son. When dad opens up his own maternal energy it allows him to be more kind and empathetic in nature so mom can settle into her own masculine side and draw boundaries with her son so he knows his limitations. This creates balance in the body, mind and soul.
I believe this is the key to preventing addiction.
I know my son picked me as his mama and I am so grateful he did. My love for him is profound. We have a tight mother-son bond that I am proud of and nurture each day. There’s a healing in me that continually grows as my son matures. He’s helping me resolve my anger and find trust, love and strength all at the same time. And when I observe him moving through his adolescence I see that he’s finding that too. Together, we grow.
I’m thankful to the Divine in finding and reading the books of Caroline Myss, because without her, I would’ve never met the Shaman and my beloved mother circle. One of whom just passed away on April 3, 2021. I love you, Mama Medora. Rest easy, angel. I’ll always remember your sweet smile in the love circle on that chilly January day in the woods. Your maternal energy is infectious and powerful, thank you for sharing it with me.
When I look back at my twenty year career of helping people heal the power has been in one magical ingredient. Love.
Love is the answer.
Love is all you need.
My first born baby taught me how to love and with each year the relationship has its challenges and wins. I see the value and importance of the mother-son bond and the crucial need for emotional intelligence imbedded in the bodies of our boys.
I love you, son. Thank you
I’ll do all I can to help and pass this on to the next generation.