My husband and I have been married for over eight years with all of life’s troubles from arguing to be seen and heard, to whom is doing more when we are both so burnt out. With two kids and two businesses we are constantly being pulled apart and need that Centripetal Force to guide us to connection. We’ve been in therapy for almost our entire relationship trying to understand one another with compassion and kindness. Whew its tough when you really want to rip their face off, but the tools we learned in therapy help to keep us coming back to dig deeper. Each layer we shed, we’ve come to find our true selves while vulnerably trying to show ourselves to one another. At times we’ve hit those rough patches and wanted to call it quits (doesn’t everyone?) but it all changed one day for me in our therapist’s office.
Twenty minutes of bickering was the typical beginning of a sesh. She would let us continue I believe so she could understand our dynamic until one day she dropped the bomb…
“You guys?” she asked, as I knew something powerful was about to come because she has this way about her. She most certainly had our attention.
“Exactly what the other is telling you to do is exactly what you need to do…so do it.” I remember looking at each other and thinking how difficult that was going to be. To drop my ego and listen to what he’s saying when I feel he’s absolutely wrong. Ugh, that feeling to break through was new, tough and still challenging eleven plus years later.
It’s a powerful lesson to how therapy can be so immensely beneficial in our lives. All of us find ourselves in situations where we realize we need more tools to help us navigate through life and be happier. Whether it’s couples therapy, physical therapy or emotional therapy that you feel you may need, do it— get support, get tools, feel empowered from within.