My 40 days off of work turned into 103 incredible days of rejuvenation. From sleeping in to meditating to getting back on the Gyrotonic® tower and most incredibly…wake surfing for the first time! I also experimented a little more in the kitchen and took some time to clean out drawers and closets! It feels good to know where things are in my house while physically clearing clutter that deep down makes me feel anxious and uneasy.
The true challenge during my time off was honestly, energetic and spiritual. As a natural born “fixer”, helping people is how I tick. It makes me feel connected, confident and contributes to my self-worth. Pulling away from the very thing that I love left me feeling lonely and doubtful about life and relationships. I was surprised by these emotions that were surfacing. I noticed it wasn’t only about clients and my work. It also had to do with close relationships in my life. I felt a deep desire calling me to just “let go”. I saw how I was constantly trying to control and determine what happened in my life. No wonder I bite my nails and need to go to yoga! It wasn’t the clutter in my house causing the tension…it’s my belief that things in my life should be the way I want them, instead of being the natural result of all of the forces of creation.
My therapist suggested that I read The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Singer. The premise of the book instantly validated the feelings I was experiencing.
“From deep inside, we can determine how we want something to be and apply the power of our minds, hearts, and bodies in an attempt to make the outside world conform. But this puts us in a constant battle of our own way versus the way it would be without our intervention. The battle between individual will and the reality of life unfolding around us ends up consuming our lives.”
I can honestly say I was living that battle right from the power center between my eyes, also known as the fifth chakra. You may have mistaken it for the furrowed brow or the constant look of determination on my face. Though my will is strong, I’m cutting that unhealthy cord. That pattern allowed me to arrive at this place, but is most certainly not going to help me evolve into the next phase. Wake surfing physically validated this for me. When I was asked for the first time I felt an overwhelming, “yes!” I typically feel afraid but usually go along with things anyway (and do eh, okay.). This time it was different. I knew and believed I could do it. I listened to the basic instructions and up I surfed. I’m forty years old and it was one of the first times I truly felt confident and connected to my physical body! I was determined AND I was having fun. My smile proved it.
So…I’m back to work. This time I’m not a new me. I am a more conscious and a wiser version of myself. I know when I am tired and I know if I’m over-giving. I’m learning how to insulate and protect my energy so I can share my healing gift with the world and not end up sick on my table. My new challenge is to keep my heart open and words honest with everyone around me so I can be the most effective healer, wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend I can be.
It feels good to say: I’m ready. I have cultivated some good juju and I am ready to share it with others and enlighten the healthcare system. We could use a more inclusive and humane approach to our wellness and my vision holds the key. I believe that now more than ever.
I’m opening up a special weekend on September 26 & 27th that I invite you to try: an Energy Check-up. In this evaluation we talk about your life patterns and how they have affected your body…or will affect your body if you don’t make some changes. I cut cords and balance your energy fields so you can undo or prevent illness and disease. Your age does not matter. Let me help you find some health in your soul. Yes, it’s different and you may even feel timid, but I can guarantee your heart, soul, and body will thank you. I want you to know your purpose, believe that you will find peace, feel the love you deserve, and accomplish your dreams.
I’m rooting for you,
“Love people enough to tell them the truth and
respect them enough to trust that they can handle it.” ~Iyanla Vanzant11