Courage is not simply one of the virtues,
but the form of every virtue at the testing point.
-C. S. Lewis
His voice was low; it had a tone of surrender. He checked all the boxes on the client health history form: musculoskeletal pain, insomnia, gastrointestinal issues, anxiety, vision problems, loss of sensation, stress, even cancer. He’s only 32-year’s-old. I noticed right away how uneasy he appeared as he was sitting in front of me while we began to go over his health history. So, I asked him if he wanted to lie down. He lied comfortably on his back with his feet propped up.
Most people think trauma is an experience that’s earth-shattering but fades with time. Sure, the wounds may heal, the scars may fade, but the internal damage will never diminish. In fact, it tends to fester and grow. I’ve built the foundation of my business on healing internal wounds, and it never ceases to amaze me how much pain one human can foster. It’s no wonder there are so many new diagnoses sprouting up each year.
“Where does your body hurt the most right now?” I asked.
“In the center of my chest,” he said as he laid his hand over his heart and pointed directly to the backside as well. “I’m broken, Gina,” he said it with such conviction.
I could tell he’s been struggling for a very long time, and I was so glad he was in my office that day. He was a fan of the work I had been doing, and it had been calling him for a year. He finally reached out:
Hey Gina, I was wondering if you work weekends, or what your hours were just in general? I’m in a terrible, terrible space. My mind, body, and soul are broken due to YEARS of physical pain and emotional distress, and I’ve found it impossible to pick up the pieces. I’ve run out of excuses for not seeking your help. I’ve been clinging to a fantasy that my son’s love will keep me afloat, but I’m slowly drowning due to pain. I truly need to get healthy so I can keep my family above water.
I’ve got a resonating feeling that you are that someone that may help me, as EVERYTHING else has failed. Hoping we can connect at some point Gina, and maybe I can share my story with you. Thank you for your uplifting posts and work!
As I closed out of my IG account, I began to reminisce. If there’s anything I’ve learned thus far during my time as a therapist, it’s that if anyone has that much pain there is ALWAYS a story to match it. Always. He knew we were going to dive on in, and that’s exactly what he did. He plunged, actually.
The tale he wove was one of heartbreak, sexual assault, and a downward spiral. I wanted to just reach out and hold him—it will all be okay. You see, we all have invisible wounds, but in order to release this trauma we must empower ourselves in order to fully heal them. Internalized hurt and pain will physically manifest itself, but the root cause will remain unknown to the naked eye. No amount of X-rays or MRIs will reveal the darkness that’s wedged itself inside you—radiological imaging does not pick up energetic scars in the human body. And typically, we will wait for the health conundrum to fester to a point where one has a laundry list of diagnosis.
Well, my patient had had enough. On that day, he had made a decision to stop the pain. It was time to cut the cord of agony, so he could give the life he’s always imagined to his children and wife. In the end, we’ve got to fall so we can rise again.